I fear for any future children in my life.

It's 12:30. Enough said.

"Hey, do you think it'd be okay if I took my birth control with energy drink?"
"Yeah... I don't see why not?"
"Well, it could have the opposite effect. I could have lots of babies instead of no babies."
"Yep."
"And they'd never sleep. EVER. Hyperactive babies."
"Yep."
"Ten of them! NEVER SLEEPING. IT'S PROGRAMMED INTO THEM. DUE TO SO MUCH ENERGY."
"Twelve of them."
"TWELVE! They will have no blood! Energy drink will run through their veins!" 

Can you just imagine? This is one of the many what-the-fuck conversations I have on a daily basis. I'm the one raving about the energy drink children, by the way. I don't question my sanity anymore.

Moving Along

A quick post on life-related thoughts

Since this year started I've been struggling with how to change myself. I've been fighting my anti-social behaviors especially in the last month or so, and been trying to get courage and balls to repair damage I've done.

I know I'm not perfect and I left my mother's home under less than ideal circumstances but I still do feel it's what I had to do to become a better person and not be afraid of being independent. I felt completely controlled and as if I had absolutely no control over my own life, it was a helpless feeling. 

But mostly it's my anti-social behavior that's been severely getting in the way of things. School, my family, my health. It's all gone kind of down hill and I'm trying to repair things now. I was afraid of even making doctor appointments. I've changed my major to something that'll make me happy to study and do well in, and I've been communicating more with my family. I have since been working out and trying to eat better, and did make those doctor appointments.

I've noticed that the adults that were in my life were a lot faster to forgive me and let by-gones be by-gones, whereas cousins and brothers not so much. I don't know if that's because the adults have been around longer and kind of realize shit happens, or if the younger crowd hold what I did and doing a lot more personally.

It was never about hurting people or it being anything against people personally and I hope they don't see it that way. The anti-socialism is something I've had for a long time, it's almost a fear of communicating with other people even on the phone. I did this to myself years ago and it only got severely worse after leaving the house the way I did.

I just hope that when I make calls or ask to hang out or visit that they see I'm sincere. I've been the one to get in my own way, and should probably see a therapist.

Quick update.

Because I'm sick of looking at CSS.

I'm really sorry to disappoint Lisa so soon, but I've refreshed this blog wtih a dark and spacious theme. I haven't ever really worked with a dark theme and thought I'd give myself a challenge.

I really don't want to see CSS for a very long time. This was such a pain in my ass! Worked three days to get this done. Now I can get back to actually blogging and can let that sigh of relief come out.

I plan to start working with illustration / vector art and getting back to drawing, so I'lll definitely post my "creations" up on the blog. Next time I'll have a nice, sarcastic / whimsical rant for you. But for now, please let me know if anything is broken or too hard to read.

Any comments are appreciated! I'm looking for interesting blogs to visit (and perhaps link to) so don't be shy. Again, thanks for sticking by me and remembering this blog exists.

And here we are again

I'm working on it.

Whoops.

I did a bad thing.

I moved hosts and unfortunately the database backup is somehow corrupt, so I can't restore my previous posts.

Bummer.

Yeah, like my six posts (in almost a year's time) were anything to cry over. But I regret not saving commenter's names or website somwhere. Who were you people, that were so kind to drop by and leave a comment? Come back? I've got cookies.